What's Your FCA (Fat Chick Attitude)?
69From one fat chick to another, there is no reason for you to go around looking frumpy, dumpy, or schlumpy everyday. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with big, comfy clothes you can hide in. I have them too.
Just don't leave the house in them.
If you look dumpy, over time, you start to feel dumpy or worse. I'm not just talking in generalities. I've been there. If you look good, you'll feel good. Or at least you'll feel better.
We'll talk about the good and the bad of being a fat chick, find out what your FCA (Fat Chick Attitude) is, how to make clothes and accessories work for you, how to do your hair and makeup to emphasize your assets, and what you need to know about health concerns.
This is not about dieting or how I lost (or am losing) weight. It's about taking a realistic look at your situation size-wise, tips on how you can look and possibly feel better about yourself, and practical everyday advice from others who have a good FCA.
It's not so much about fat acceptance as it is about self-acceptance.
Before we can move forward, we have to know your FCA, or your fat chick attitude.
Read the following descriptions and see which attitude most closely resembles you.
- I'm sorry, just pretend I'm not here. The fat chick with this attitude tries to make herself look as small as possible. She's quiet. She apologizes for everything. She dresses in oversized clothes and does her best to blend in with the background.
- Don't mess with me. Perhaps to compensate for her timid counterpart, this fat chick can be overly aggressive. She makes no apologies for who or what she is. She is proud of her size. She may even dress provocatively.
- I really don't care. This one can be the most difficult to spot. In extreme cases, she's the one who dresses in clingy material or muumuus. Her clothes show she doesn't care and her attitude mirrors it.
- I know who I am and I like me. This fat chick would be confident and aware of her size without being overly self-conscious about it. I allow that qualifier because even the best of us have moments of self-doubt and self-consciousness, whether we admit them or not.
There is no right or wring answer. You are simply who you are. Some attitudes are healthier than others in the long run, but they all serve a purpose. People rarely stay in one attitude and only one. What your attitude is at any given moment is a pendulum varying between degrees of attitude.
Problems can crop up, however, if you take it to extremes or if you get stuck on one attitude and let it become unhealthy for you.
As for me, I'm currently on the border between the "I don't care" and "I know who I am and I like me" attitudes. I do know who I am and I'm working on liking me. Some days I do. Some days I don't.
It's been a long process getting here. I went through a very long phase of "I'm sorry, just pretend I'm not here," particularly in high school and part of college.
Now that you know your FCA, you have a better idea of where you stand and which area(s) you want to focus on. You're not alone. It's a process many of us go through.
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Even being heavy all my life tends to make me angry. *s* I don't know that it would have made a difference for you, but it's possible.
Nice post! I have spent the past couple years in the "pretend I'm not here" category and am just now moving into self-acceptance and, really, fat acceptance. I'm blogging about it, too *g* but it's always good to know I'm not alone. I think if it weren't for the wonder of the Internet that I would still be a long way from accepting myself.
It's funny you mention that about the Internet. I think that's why I started coming more into self-acceptance as well.
Cute hub, Jen. :) I've been in the "I know who I am and I like me" category. It's funny because I was a skinny-Minnie for years and didn't know who I was. Then with the weight gain over time, that was when I finally learned to love myself for ME and not try to be something I wasn't. :)
Thanks, Hope.
I feel like I'm getting close to the point of "I know who I am and I like me." :)
hi jenn,
I fall in-between the I'm sorry and I know who I am categories. I've been a yo-yo dieter ever since my late 30s. Presently I am now the heaviest I've ever been. Although I hate it, I also am not doing a thing about it. It's not like I don't know what to eat and in what proportions, I simply don't do it. Lazy? partly. Depressed? more than likely.
I like what you said though, about even though you're fat, you don't have to look like a slob. It is true that when I wear something that is nice looking and I am comfortable in, my attitude definitely changes. It also changes if I've had an especially good hair day and I bother to put makeup on.
These are good reminders, and thanks for sharing,
Trish
Thank you,, Trish. :)
This is part of an ongoing book project called "Confessinos of a Fat Chick," which, not-so-incidentally, is also a blog, if you're interested. www.confessionsofafatchick.com
Is there another mode called the "In Denial" mode? I don't seem to fall into any of those four. I KNOW I'm a rocking chick and often feel that way but that's because I usually don't really 'see' my physical self. Whenever I catch a glimpse in a photograph etc. and see the reality it's a SHOCK! I'm not THAT fat woman am I? Denial.
You're welcome Jenn. I'll check out the website.
Thanks again,
Trish
Rebecca, you raise a good point. I knew the list was incomplete and didn't cover all bases, but that actually is a rather important one.
The ironic part for me is that I got heavy when I had kids. When I was a thin child or a thin, young adult, I had very little self confidence. I did not know I was pretty, I did not feel pretty. Then I met my husband and I began to know what it means to like one's self and to feel good about one's self. Then I had kids, gained some weight and was proud of that baby fat. After breastfeeding, I'd start to lose the weight, then a few years later get pregnant and fat again. The last pregnancy, I couldn't lose the weight. As the kids grew and entered school during the day, my life became more sedentary as I work infront of the computer for 8+ hours a day which meant no exercise. And thus what I ate stayed packed on. I have fluctuated between 170 and 180 for the past 9 years and to be truthful, I didn't care. I had finally liked me for me and the weight didn't matter. But I turned 40 a few days ago and well, it's starting to matter. So now I'm exercising every day and being a bit more careful of what I put into my mouth. I've never ate a lot but I didn't always choose healthy choices. I'll have to check out your blog, sounds fun.
Dabblingmum, what you say reinforces what I've long thought. It doesn't matter what size you are, really, because self-esteem/self-worth issues don't really care about that. How you address them and hwo you feel about yourself are they key points.
JennippsI love your attitude. I wish more people thought like you do. I know that this world would be a better place to live.I’m now a fan.mscoolwood
Thank you, mscoolwood. I will soon have another hub up in the Confessions of a Fat Chick series.
FCA... i like it.
dafla 3 years ago
Great hub! I was skinny all my life until the last couple of years, when I put on about 30 lbs. Now I'm in the "I really don't care" mode, and I don't really think I'll get out of it without losing weight. If I had been overweight all my life, I think I'd be o.k., but to start at a size 7 and end up like this, it just makes me angry.